Sometimes life throws lemons

*NOTE - this post is not rose tinted*

Most of my friends have children, for me it's a great excuse to play on trampolines, visit the zoo, watch Disney movies and generally do anything I should have stopped doing when I turned thirTEEN.

When it comes to children they say you shouldn't have favourites, well, I'm afraid I do!

L is my favourite, he's our best friends' little boy, last week he turned 8 years old, we bought him a Star Wars chess set, Lego Movie Xbox game and a Chelsea Football shirt which he loved!!

Last month he was diagnosed with Leukemia.

I cannot even put into words how that makes feel. I'm not even going to try and attempt to. NUMB.

I have always been exceptionally good at maintaining positivity and happiness, even during the toughest of times, but for this I've had to dig deep and use everything I have to find the strength to put a smile on and be there for my favourite little guy and his mummy and daddy. 

I can confirm sporting a fake 'brave face' is tough but watching people you love suffering is the toughest thing in the world!!

They say everything happens for a reason, what could possibly be a reason for children fighting cancer, or anyone for that matter!

My Mum says all we can do is pray for L... For the first time, I questioned my faith!?

I don't want to write the most depressing blogpost in history, I just felt like sharing why I have been missing from the blogosphere (yet again) 

I hope you are all well!
Hopefully I'll be back soon with some positivity and smiling!

XO

Well this is #awkward

July, July...really JULY!

I'm not sure where to start, firstly I hope you are well

What have I done since July?

In no particular order...

I said goodbye to my 20's

Had my first ever Birthday Party

Said hello to my 30's

Spent a week in Las Vegas with 5 of my favourite people

Sold my car

Partied...a lot

Saw Bruno Mars in concert

Welcomed some of my friends into the 30 club

Helped my sister move out :( 

Attended my cousins wedding

Went out dressed as a famous landmark

Watched all of Breaking Bad

Celebrated Christmas with the family

Partied some more

Gained 18lbs (too much partying)

Tried/trying to lose 18lbs

Said goodbye to 2013 and hello to 2014

Started running (or attempting to-again!!)

Why haven't I blogged since July?

Basically I felt I may have been addicted to Social Media, I was spending the majority of my time looking at a screen.

Addiction Symptoms

 -A few scenarios that led me to self diagnosis ;)

#TAGGED

If you have a birthday party (a very small birthday party) expect your iPhone to have a meltdown with Facebook, Instagram and Twitter notifications.

Who remembers when partying was all about having a good time and not about the photos?

#OLDNEWS

If your cousin twice removed has a new baby expect to know the news before the grandparents do

#ANTI-SOCIAL

If you forget your phone or tablet don't expect anyone to actually chat to you on the train, they haven't forgotten theirs

#MISSEDIT
If your work colleagues are discussing "The best TV show. Ever" expect to not have seen a single episode because your TV time consists of watching your favourite YouTuber.

#NETWORKFAIL

If you have no internet signal expect to feel like your pet cat is missing

#OOOOPS

If you do something a bit silly and decide to give your Facebook friends a laugh at your expense, expect someone to tell your mother about it when they bump into her at church.

#BFFs

If you gain new followers on any social media platform expect to feel like you've won a small fortune

"Put that damn camera down", "See, you can't even sing because you're too busy taping,"  "I'm right in your face, baby. You gotta seize this moment, baby!" 

 - Beyoncé (to one of her fans at a concert in Atlanta)

#OBSESSED

I was just like that guy at the Beyoncé concert.

Whilst in Vegas we took a helicopter trip  to the Grand Canyon, I was snapping away like there was no tomorrow, I'm a tourist after all.

it wasn't until I had a bit of a tumble that I actually put the camera down that I started to take in, where I was, who I was with and how breathtaking the moment was - something a camera will never capture!

I decided to have a break from it all

.....for a little while!

Google images

 Do you feel you spend too much time online? 

Could you cope without any social media?

KEEP SMILING :)

Then I realised.....I'm Carrie Bradshaw!

Hey lovelies,

I hope your all doing good?

**WARNING**

This blog post may get a bit lovey dovey and may include scenes of psychotic female behaviour!

Yesterday Kevin(boyfriend has a name!) and I received a wedding invitation, this is the 14th wedding we will attend together in 5 years.

Crazy right!?

Last summer we had a wedding every Saturday for 8 weekends in a row, that's what happens when you get to my grand old age of 29.

I LOVE attending weddings and feel truly blessed when people want to share their day with us!

However there is one thing I truly dislike about weddings....

'You'll be next!' 'When are you two getting married?' 'You better hurry up if want to have kids?

Last summer it really got to me, every time I pulled on another wedding outfit, watched a couple say tearjerking vows and have a beautiful, intimate first dance together my heart sunk a little and I started to think ....

'Why hasn't he asked me?'

I thought I'd try subtle hints like pointing out that couples we know had been together a lot less time than us when they got engaged, I'd leave any magazine's or brochures open with pictures of engagement rings, when it was my turn to choose movies I'd make sure they had proposals in them, I played Beyoncè's Single Ladies over and over and over(subtle, right!)

I had become a psychotic girlfriend, which I very much am not(normally)

This behaviour seemed to have Zero effect on Kevin but actually made me annoyed at myself.

I finally snapped out of it after a couple of weeks when my little sister got engaged and instead of being ecstatically happy for her I was slightly envious, I knew this had to stop. (I'm totally happy for her now and can't wait for her big day)

So I asked him....NO, not to marry me, I'm not that desperate, yet. Ha!

I asked him his thoughts on marriage he assured me that he loves me and wants to spent the rest of his life with me and he does want to get married, some day!

And now, well now I know I have a great guy who loves me and wants to be with me if he proposes, he proposes if not I still have a great guy who loves me with all his heart, no ring or wedding day is going to change that <3

...what more does a girl want?

Other than a closet full of shoes, obviously!

Have you been in the same situation?
Do you have any relationship dramas?
Have you had any psycho girlfriend moments?


Have a great week!

Keep Smiling :D